if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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