All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
