I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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