can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize