I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
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Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
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Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter