I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
