with your own penis?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
