we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Randomize