thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize