quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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