I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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