Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
As shirtless as possible
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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