Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
