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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
