Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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