Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
