home. puking in laundry basket.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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