first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
