At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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