I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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