i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
