; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
