I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
