worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
