god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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