her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
