you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
