I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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