I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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