you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
