Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We need to get me chipped asap
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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