We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
