oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
