Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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