Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
