She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
