paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
