I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
