last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
