im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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