I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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