True but thats because hes a fetus.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
