I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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