Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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