I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
