She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
