I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
