there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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