Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
