remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
