Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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