I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she told me i tasted like america
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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