so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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