I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
