I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
