Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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